Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Still waiting for Mr.Right?




Note to self: He Doesn't exist. 

Just for the record, neither do perfect women. We live in an imperfect world, deal with it. 
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. 


Did you know, The average person will check their "smartphone" at least 150 times a day?


I'm hoping that most of you reading this will have access to a smart phone. An iPhone, blackberry, Samsung, Android...you get the idea. 
 
Please follow these simple steps:

1. Go to the stopwatch/timer application   on your phone - those who don't have this feature, use a stop watch, or keep track of the seconds on any time piece.
2.    Start Stopwatch/timer
3.    Click - Create new message
4.    Type any of the following phrases:     

  *Call you soon. 
     *Thinking of you.
     *In a meeting. 
     *Extremely horny
5.    Press send
6.    Stop stopwatch

This should take you a maximum of 30secs from the start of the process to pressing the send button, thus sending your message off into the texting stratosphere.

30seconds!That's how long it should take Joe "Suave" to send you a message to make you smile, ease your mind, tickle that fancy spot in your pants that is currently being pleasured in your alone time.
Ask yourself this question.  What should I do If I'm currently dating/seeing someone in the infancy stages, (some refer to this as the honeymoon stage); and I'm not getting a text message the same day that I sent him a text message?

MALE RESPONSE: Do yourself and the friends you're  bitching to a favor...  change his name on your phone to: 

GIVES ME FUCK ALL! Then let's see how you respond when you hear that beeping/vibrating sound and see his name flash on your screen at 10:40pm on a Wednesday night.




Preferably, I'd rather you deleted your interested party's number and move on to the next potential Mr.Right. (We know he doesn't exist). Because all you have now is; Mr. I'll fuck you till he gets here. 





Want to rock a male's ego?
 
When Mr. I'm too busy to text, finally does text you... 

Text back these two words: 

Who's this?






So if he isn't texting you, he's certainly texting someone else. 


Till the next time you have the pleasure of receiving me in your inbox.



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Feel free to comment below, i love reading from you.   









2 comments:

  1. I wish you posted more, I love your blog, and am currently on day 3 of not hearing anything from a first date..lol..ugh

    ReplyDelete