Monday, January 24, 2011

Be careful what you wish for, but just make sure you wish.

Another weekend has come and gone, and with it, many a phone number, Facebook page and twitter address has been exchanged. Were you one of the lucky or unlucky ones? 
Before you can answer this question, I need to ask another. Did your list accompany you out this weekend? Is it written on your Iphone, Blackberry, or any other portable electronic device (no not that one)? Is there even a list written at all? 
What list am I talking about, I hear you ask?  Read on… 
I actually learned about this list by random chance some years ago. I was exiting a store and briskly returning to my car as it was raining. As I opened my car door, I heard a wolf whistle come from a group of women who were waiting under shelter for the rain to pass. I looked over and smiled. They laughed and said “not you…your car.” I found that quite amusing. So I offered them a ride. 
“Let the games begin!”
They were headed to a bar for some drinks. Once we arrived at the designated address, they invited me in and, of course, I accepted. Once the pleasantries were out of the way, they began talking about how all men were bastards. I asked which one of them had recently been burnt. Two of them smiled and pointed at their friend in unison. She quickly stated, “That won’t ever happen again. I’ll never settle for anything less than-“. She quickly stopped talking and seemed embarrassed. 
Her friend blurted out the big secret: “Come on, show him the list.” That’s when it all began.  
This girl had a list of 25 points that she wanted in a man. I asked her what she would be willing to settle for, as NO MAN IS PERFECT. She said she wanted at least 22 out of the 25 requirements fulfilled. I asked if I could have a shot at the title. She laughed it off and quickly reminded me that we had only known each other for two hours. I quickly reminded her that if her list was accurate enough, then the fact that I am still here after two hours must account for at least 10 points on that list! 
She then showed me the list and I noticed the 25th item on the list: is he a good kisser? This was my way in. Confidence without arrogance. I stated, “Well, I know I have number 25 in the bag.” She giggled, and I responded. “And number 16 and number 20.” 
Does he make me laugh? Does he have a good sense of humour? Check, and check. 
So we pushed on. I hit 21 out of 25, just scraping in on the height bracket. She laughed and said, “so close”. I responded, “yes, for you. You’ll never get to see if number 25 is true unless I ask you out for a follow up drink, and I don’t think I’m going to.” I did.
We went out a couple of times, but the damage had been done and the challenge was over. She let me into her game way too early. She should have kept some things on that list secret. The mystery had faded all too fast. We had both learnt what we needed to know about one another via a list that I was never meant to see.  
TIP: Keep your cards close to your chest; only show them once he has shown his. 
All criticism aside, this was one of the first women I have ever come across who had a plan. She had been hurt too many times before and had decided to take a stand. Good for her. 
I encourage all those reading to do the same. She is now happily married to a guy she met soon after dating me. I was so impressed by her affirmative stance and the clarity of her list that I decided to become her adviser, as I am hoping to be yours from here on in.  


  1. Hi Kent Clark,
    So because you knew what she wanted did that make you less intersted?? So are you saying to not mention to guys what we are looking for ....
    It is about time someone started something that would and can benefit women.... because at the end of the day I want the truth.
    Keep up the great blog...


  2. @Anonymous

    Hi Cora,

    Thanks for posting your question.

    The simple answer is that I cheated. Once I knew what she was looking for in a man, I was able to adapt to fit her requirements.
    It all happened too fast, it was like one of those crazy rollercoaster rides, you line up for ages and then its over in 45 seconds and you are left slightly disappointed. We are still good friends though.

    This is why my tip suggests that you keep things close to your chest. You only have to do this till you are certain that he has most of the attributes you wish for in a man.

    The truth is what I will continue to give the readers, so keep reading. We are just beginning what will be a long journey, full of insights into the one entity that you can love and loathe at the same time…men.

    Wish you well.


  3. I used to give to men before I could even find out if they were even capable of giving back to me. Cook them home-cooked meals, give them a massage, etc, etc... Now my secret rule is, "You give me first, because I need to know you have it in you... Me? Oh, I know I can give, but you'll get it when you've earned it!"

  4. @Anonymous

    Enjoyed your comment.

    3 cheers for ID. Hip Hip HOORAY! x3.

    Thanks for sharing.